The board to the side next to us is the cargo ship of the Black Sea Shipping Company. It can be seen just came. More and the mooring ends are not secured, but already some kind of confusion stupid among the southerners on the deck. Their whole team, including the watch ... watch! The whole team runs around, hands waving and with chalk some squares right on the deck draws. Then - stop, car, stop and louder than a storm siren begin to yell at each other.
Poruit, poruit, hoarse a little, quickly just painted with a wet mop wash away and again - run around, swing their arms, draw with chalk. The whole deck, like that tetradic sheet, will be grafted into irregular squares and again they will stop, and let's go through all the saints and apostles.
We already have a solid crowd at the bulwark gathered ... We stand, we smoke, we watch this free circus at the circus, and we silently scratch our turnips - what is it for the southerners? And here Mikhalych, our boatswain, could not stand it, asks the citizens of Odessa:
- Guys, and why are you so enthusiastically busy? Maybe some kind of help is needed?
And those - so, completely impolite and shamelessly, declare to him: “No, not needed. We'll figure it out! And we are busy with the fact that we share the empty seats of the upper deck for private cars, which are each of us ... Everyone! He will buy here, in Hamburg, where the finest car dump for the whole Bundes, and in his native Zhmerinka in a well-known state of luck. And if you, the fuckers of the north, don't know that presidential Decree about the annual duty-free import of one car, or do not intend to execute it, in the wickedness of your great imperial one, then stand there on your closet and get quietly through a rag! ”
Here is a shantrap. Polite conversation in the port of an unfriendly power to us to support and can not. And some accusations ... Well, completely baseless. How not to know? We know! Just someone has already introduced this car, and the second is there or the third why? To drive one to work, another to adapt useful and informative shopping trips, well, and the third - to give to sharpen? And it is necessary, if with all this, and one machine perfectly cope?
And the southerners ... No, not like us. Totally different! They have no question: “Should I carry - do not carry?” “Drive. And no nails! Here is my slogan and ... And the rest of the team! ”Not for yourself, but for your matchmaker. Not a matchmaker, so a brother-in-law. Not a brother, so selling!
And this merchant spirit ... Well, what a contagious it is! Mikhalych was just standing - a man is a man, and there was nothing bad in his thoughts. And as I understood why the neighbors are painting the deck, their eyes were shining, the voice trembled:
- Husband ... And where is the most chic here?
- Mikhalych ... Do not be of a jerk like that poplar on Plyushchikha. Matured to the state of a happy car owner? It is necessary - we will find!
And in about three hours ... We have already moved from the bulwark to the most luxurious by the whole friendly company. Language, it is not only to Kiev, but also in Hamburg - to any landfill ...
But already on it ... Mikhalych decided on a fly:
- This one, blue! "Penny". They are still under Italian control collected. Reliability proven!
And then the fun began. I went to Mikhalych to bargain with the German, that he was put in charge of that dump for the chief ... Oh, and they beat him ten times. The same - no less! - spat at his feet and dispersed. And they threw hats on the asphalt, and trampled on them mercilessly. And they beat themselves in the chest, and remembered for peace, friendship and the Freundschaft.
But as the German fell on the fifth time to two hundred Deutschmarks, he stopped. Is dead And in any way ... No matter they will not get along. And our timber carrier is our ... Already it finishes bunkering with fuel and is about to call a pilot aboard. Here - or-or ... Or we throw everything and leave, or we beat hands and Magarych rolls out to interested viewers.
The German, this nuance of our marine life, can be seen, with his upper trading sense, he smelled and said:
- No, brother, two hundred. I can not do less. Inflation! But I will give such a thing a plus ...
And rolls out of the hangar ... Really interesting thing. Something like a hydraulic lift. The bed, on which - the vertical stand. And already in it are fixed two parallel guides, which can be adjusted to the lifting height. You put guides under the bottom, raise the height you need, and then rr-razz! One side of the bottom - at what distance it was raised, remained on that. And the other - rose up the degrees at 60−70. And all the bottom of you. If you want, change the silencer, if you want, do the anti-corrosion treatment. Stuck, and true, not bad!
- Mikhalych, do you have a hole in your garage? Not? What do you think then? Shut up, grab the car, this thing and - on the pier!
Boatswain hand and waved.
In general, they managed to get to the pier, loaded the car, assigned it, saluted Hamburg with a flag and went to the exit. And as the waste bustle subsided and life began to enter the usual rut, Mikhalych, we look, we are sad. It is understandable. Until the Archangel, perhaps, to wait to experience the lift?
Well, how can a man not respect? Moreover, at sea - calm is full, on the deck - there is enough space. Deck and whistle is not necessary! We quickly found the car, rolled it out, guides under the bottom, lifted ... R-time! And the "penny" is already at an angle to the deck hanging, swaying.
Swaying, swaying ... And suddenly. R-ra-az! The whole body - w-uhh ... and falls. If it were not for the leer, he would have been lying, dear, at the very bottom of the gray-lead North Sea. And so - caught, hanging on the railing.
Hanging, swaying. There - here. From the deck - to the sea. And back. So gently wiggle. Even the glass did not fly out.
On deck - as in that "Inspector". All stand, silent, afraid to die. As if from a whiff did not kick the body down overboard.
True, the silent pause did not last long! They screamed, began to fuss, run around stupidly ... Who keeps the leader, who pulls the body to the back. Saved, by joint efforts, Mikhalychevo good!
Once again, they hired a car to the deck. And with it - the fallen off body. And up to the Dvina more and did not touch them. You never know, maybe there is still something so rusted that spit, it will fall off.
* * *
Well, and then ... We loaded the car in Arkhangelsk. Mikhalych agreed with the men, they all went separately to the garage and transported it. Separately - the body. Separately - everything that should be under it in the collection. The engine is there, the bottom, the wheels, the seats ...
So they stood in his garage. Body work - not cheap. Maybe they still stand, if not rotted.