How to become a chanson star?

So let's get started.

Suppose you are young, although no, frankly, it would be better for you if you are already over 40. And then imagine a twenty-five year old chanson star. Yes, his people will not respect. Who will believe that he has already timed on the zone moat? Well, who?

Oh yes, I almost forgot, if you didn’t sit at least two terms, then don’t even poke a chanson. It would be best if you already have a criminal past behind you, not a hooligan, but a real thief in law. And if you spent most of your life behind bars, it is generally ... In short, the path to star Olympus is guaranteed.

Of course, you must own the “feni” flawlessly, and the words “in kind” and “purely concrete” should become the basis of your vocabulary.

Also on your hairy chest should be tattoos that would show your attitude to most things, the domes of the church are a necessary attribute, and a drawing that would show what you were sitting for. The fingers of the right hand should have the tattooed year in which you were born, for example, 1962. And on the fingers of the left the number of “rings” should correspond to the number of years you spent behind bars.

Another important aspect is your "mug", I apologize, your face, since it will be watched during solo concerts or clips. Therefore, it should be suitable for you, that is, so that it could be read all your past. Now choose a cool name for yourself, for example, Kalyan in Nature, or Vasya Specific, and boldly go on.

Now let's deal with the lyrics and other nonsense. First, the voice. Best of all, if you do not have it. If he does, try to spoil him so that he becomes hoarse and very low, as if you were smoking five packs of “Prima” per day.

Secondly, and most importantly, it is the lyrics. Yes, yes, it is the lyrics. In chanson, she is very rich, but the best thing is not to shine with originality and sing about the good old, and this: a gangster fate, life in prison and stories about how you were put in jail for a completely innocent act, for example, a contract killing . Do not forget to write a few songs about your thugs chums, and they will be offended, and this can have grave consequences for you, but the homies are thieves. Do not forget to mention your grave childhood and your first crime. This is what you should get:

My life is hard, it has been hard for me,
I swallowed a sucker, I had to sit in jail,
There, with chums, my mother remembered,
My mother is already gray, I would embrace her now,
Yes, life - broken slut, and for the period I shook.

This is a simple example of a hit chanson, in which a person mentions almost everything that is necessary for the success of a song. If you ask how to write a melody, it is even easier. To do this, just sing a couplet, and let your buddy sing along with boom-cum-boom-cum. This option is suitable for all songs, because boom-zum can be sung in different variations, for example, try, zum-boom-zum-boom and you get a completely different song, another hit.

So you have become the star of chanson, now you just have to look around and say: “I am a great singer, everyone respects me, and every taxi driver who has a respectable taxi driver has my tapes”.

Watch the video: OneRepublic - Counting Stars (November 2019).

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