My child is studying in a difficult Moscow school. And I, occasionally coming to the class to conduct additional classes, close to observe the difficult Moscow children. These are not bad kids. There are a couple of ruminants, fully formed even in their eight or nine years. They don’t care what you came up with, if only you didn’t call them to the board and didn’t give marks. They turn their backs and rustle wrappers.
But most still have lively eyes. They are lively and relaxed, positive and open. Among them come across scholars. There are also bright heads. Parents do not spare money: early development, skiing, foreign languages. The stunning gaps in the most ordinary, applied knowledge, the unwillingness to focus on something that does not bring admiring recognition at the same moment, eludes the adult's eyes.
Even less obvious is the dash in the column reserved for virtue: modesty, politeness, gratitude. The sense of age and social distance. Parents really want to be friends of their children. This is relevant and democratic. And most importantly, easy! As long as they seem to be doing it, children honestly do not understand that the presence of an adult imposes certain restrictions on their freedom of expression. At this age, among them rarely come across scoundrels. To the direct question “Why do you behave inadmissible?” They answer not with impudent, but with a surprised look. But this is still ...
And parents are calm. Everything goes as it should. Do they work a little and spend little? They do not see that the color of their life grows somewhere sideways. How can they see it? After all, they meet with children only on Sundays - in a sushi restaurant.
“You give my son too little attention!” Here in the private school where we came from ...
- Excuse me, but how many children were in the class? Ten? And we have twenty-eight.
A parent tormented by guilt is unable to perform parental duties. It is uncritical, undemanding, blind. He is forced to close his eyes to the inconsistency of the child as a future adult, in order not to accidentally notice his own inconsistency as his teacher. He cannot afford to admonish, reprove, and forbid. If you have no time to gain credibility with the child, you have to buy commitment from the consumer. In our reality turned inside out, this is already the norm: Mama & Papa Corporation forms customer loyalty. Return on investment? False feeling "I cope." I have nothing to blame myself for!
- Honey, do not throw the hat on the floor.
- I will complain to my mother, she will fire you.
They learn too early to divide the world into all-powerful adults and as yet dependent, but beloved children. Loved unconditionally, and not for salary. And they learn to divide into higher and lower. Yourself in this coordinate system, you can only take one place - the navel of the earth. If the main goal of the parent is to prepare the offspring for independent living, then this is a failure. Such a child is doomed! It will not survive in a world that will sooner or later shake off its violent separation to the top and bottom on the basis of proximity to the pipeline. He will not adapt to any other hierarchical structure. Just because it does not mature.
It is easy to guess who in this greenhouse is the most capricious and manure flower. Of course, boy, son. The only, late, adorable-to-crying, mother zalzanzanny kid. Mom took him away from herself no earlier than seven, heroically giving the school, and calls him on the iPhone several times a day - right during the lessons. How can he grow? He is doomed to remain a kid. And he starts to like it.
I know that girls at this age are more obedient and socialized. They have higher self-control and a great desire to please. I know and make discounts. Although at the age of ten, the boy must understand how the school differs from home, the teacher from the friend, and human behavior from the ape. Mind him enough for this! But the main evil is not that he does everything he wants, and even, oddly enough, not that he was not taught respect. The main evil is this: he is not a man at home. He is a pet, glamor young in a designer collar. He has a platinum bowl with elite food, soft bedding and clothes from the boutique. He does not know the word "no". He is not responsible for anything. Do you understand what this means?
- Do not dare to force my son to do something in the classroom! We have three maids, he, thank God, delivered from all this.
- And how many maids will go to school with him?
Why do women in Russia despise men so much? So they despise that even their own sons do not trust to blow their nose themselves? Someone blame feminism. Someone - incomplete families. Rapprochement of sex-role models, loss of gender certainty, something else. And yet, why did we deserve it?
And everything is simple. A man brings life. Not a dad or a mom, but an honest strict life that a father and mother live in. Outside of this life, as in the absence of a catalyst, the subtle reaction of the birth of a man, a man in a boy does not go. The tadpole tries to remain armless and big-eyed, the soft little body stubbornly refuses to hatch from the pupa. But “the course of time cannot be stopped,” an undesired transformation still occurs. Something inside is still boiling, bubbling, consuming energy - it increases the entropy. The result is ugly. Metrosexual, the manager of some kind of link, just an animal of the common breed "Ham Tram". Anything but a man.
“You see, we lived hard,” my father, who was born before the war, told me. - And they wanted you to have an easy life. Who knew that in an easy life it is difficult to grow up healthy morally and physically! ”So the roots go deep into the past. Today's milf from the X generation has not made a revolution in pedagogy. So parents raised her brother, so her husband was raised. She also raises her son.
“You only have two rooms? How can you live in two rooms? "(3rd class)
“I used to be the richest in class. And now we have another girl became the first in wealth, and everyone wants to be friends with her. ” (6th grade)
Empire condemns its citizens to moral decay. The mainstream is separated into fattening rich and mendicant, to everything, except for handouts of indifferent degradants. Both are drones. People who produce real, socially significant goods and services from their last forces are driven into marginality and have no influence on the moral climate. The consequences experienced all the empires of the world, from ancient Rome to Great Britain. We are following.
Reproach in imperialism, it is customary to throw instead of flowers on the grave of the Soviet Union. Indeed, we have become imperialists only now. One caveat: we rob not colonies, but our own lands. This is important to keep in mind when looking for the root problem of raising our children. Empire can not grow a citizen! Only a drone or slave.
Civil society begins to receive for nothing, in the appendage to the material and cultural values of the fallen regime. And consumes as predatory as any other assets. Soon there will be nothing to consume - the bottom has already been exposed.