It may seem that such a number of requirements for one person is a utopia, a call to a mythical, unattainable perfection in life. Excessive load and just a burden. But only as long as we view them as presented to a person from outside by society or by those around them. But harmony is agreement, consonance. In man, she is equilibrium and conformity to each other of his abilities, goals and aspirations, opportunities and desires, feelings and consciousness.. The body, emotions, mind, soul and spirit of a harmonious person are one. He is not torn by internal contradictions. He found a steady balance and stability - inside and outside.
Some kind of balance in a person is always there. But it can be healthy, beautiful, confident, joyful. And maybe - shaky, pathetic, ugly. When the professional and social development of a person is not balanced by an individual view, own position, understanding, conviction. When the hopes placed on privacy overshadow the whole world. When inflated pride screams and torments man. And even being a socially significant and prominent figure, he often barely crawls through life, literally forcing himself to live - by strong-willed effort, and often by external stimuli - by duties, responsibility to others.
It seems that the means of implementation does not work, but only because it is not the means. Twisted consciousness is a bad helper to man. “The wind that always blows one way is bad” (R. Heinlein). A professional, a worthy person, a successful person are not synonymous with a happy person. The detrimental balance is harmful to a person, helping in particulars, but destroying the integrity of existence and self-perception of oneself as capable, interesting, necessary, loved, happy.
You can entangle yourself hand and foot with networks of a multitude of arguments, opinions, rules, disputes and drown in this noisy discord. While “The knowledge of some principles easily compensates for the ignorance of certain facts” (K. Helvetius). You can rush to the execution of an infinite number of necessary, good and useful, but not to do the main thing.
We are learning to pursue small specific goals, but we do not reach out to unite these private successes and achievements into a stable and stable reality worthy of an in-depth, intuitive sense of self, peace and life as a wonderful and wonderful miracle that is especially strong in childhood.
Is the childlike confidence of each of us in our exclusivity, significance, value so naive and groundless? Maybe it is not an illusion - the feeling is right, but it requires proper application and implementation? “Nature created us for something more” (Cicero). And everyone really feels that he is capable of more, deserves the best, that the world around is shallow and does not correspond to its scale.
But the true resolution of this contradiction - in the present, healthy maturation - which consists not in abandoning the child’s sense of happiness and labeling naivety on him, but in bringing it into reality, putting vague feeling and a premonition into flesh and blood bright, alive, saturated reality.
Small a shift in focus in the system of exposure-expectations of a person can change his life beyond recognition! If he will perceive intuitive confidence in his own abilities not as an excuse for his needs, but as a support and reference point for activities. Not “the world is small for me, great,” not “I stand out above it,” but “I am able to transform my near world, space and time according to my will and my choice.” Not only this, man always does it! He always acts, even if his choice is inaction, always participates, even if he remains indifferent.
The man is not free to choose - whether to act? He is only free to choose what his participation will be. Plod through life or enjoy it. Enmity with neighbors or cooperate. Complain or create. “I am able to convey myself to others, so that they understand and appreciate me. I am able to choose and find interesting and valuable people for myself and to enlist their respect. Able to be happy, not pretend to be. ”
For this, desire is most important. But the correct methods of working on yourself and your life are also important. The many problems on which attention is fixed, and the “tips” for solving them, not only do not help a person, but even more constrain him. Social standards, without the attainment of which, it seems, access to the desired seems to be closed, when they are acquired, they often reveal a terrible reality: the truly desirable has not approached one iota!
Negative advice, the installation of the series "not to be a loser" does not work, because, in fact, claim emptiness. “Positive”, but overly generalized, also do little to help - “be confident”, “be happy”. All this needs to be experienced, felt, and therefore - to learn by acquiring a certain skill. This can not be achieved only by the power of desire made by the decision.
Confidence and happiness are achieved through overcoming their own inadequacy, which anyone has - this or that. And only this way, on this way, a person every day begins to feel more and more free from the power of his own weaknesses. All the more happy. The road to self and self-knowledge is the most rewarding work for a person. From determining the most important for yourself - to finding it.
A healthy personality needs a skeleton of its own values, beliefs that are significant enough for it itself. To rely on them. These are personal, internal goals and values that can breathe life into generally accepted standards or reduce their significance for a particular person to nothing. And the achievement of such goals will not bring a person true satisfaction, will not be an incentive for further development, and can only disappoint! A person also needs the power of knowledge and practical skills - this is the ability of his personality to move, act. Will gives him energy and determination. The mind best guides. Emotions are the breath and pulse of his life, the ability to feel and convey living experiences to the outside.
Each person has his own way to harmonious harmony: the fact that breathing is easy and natural for one person, is insoluble (for the time) problem for another. But it must be remembered that man is a single and complex whole. And the development of all his abilities, skills, and functions is beneficial only when balanced. When some of its parties do not absorb and do not crowd out others.
The development of one quality does not negate the need to support the rest, one area of life is not capable of replacing the other or compensating for its absence or deficiency. A full life of a harmonious person cannot be reduced to the achievement of one goal, the solution of one problem. Therefore, the choice of the right goals and effective methods for their achievement for everyone begins with an understanding of oneself - at least as a first approximation and in general terms.